Take an easy, full, beautiful breath IN, and slowly breathe OUT — the holiday season is here.

For many of us, this time of year brings joys — and challenges — of family gatherings, gift exchanges, and holiday festivities.

Amidst all the joy, let’s face it — the holiday season is stressful, especially when it comes to family gatherings, both large and small.

Family gatherings are only sometimes fun and games. For many families, they’re masked balls, with everyone straining to maintain a façade of harmony. For others families, they’re like Wild West shootouts.

Are you feeling anxious about an upcoming family gathering?

The good news is that you can navigate the event more easily and gracefully with some planning and thoughtfulness.

Below are some tips to help you set an intention to turn that stress dynamic around and enjoy the holiday season’s magic.

Ten Ways to Handle Tense Family Gatherings

1. Make a pro-and-con list. Clear your head, find a calm moment and decide whether you should attend the gathering.

2. Consider smaller portions. You can plan a short visit for appetizers or desserts.

3. Educate yourself. Seek information on the issues or dynamics that tend to come up in your family.

4. Dig deeper. How do you contribute to the tension? Can you adjust your understanding of other points of view?

5. Seek to understand. Get to the heart of things by asking questions in a relaxed, open, non-defensive way. Read Sharon Ellison’s Taking the War Out of Our Words.

   Or maybe you’d like to read What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent Communication, co-authored by the “queen” of restorative yoga, my teacher Judith Hanson Lasater.

6. Be prepared. Holiday-related emotions may arrive early. Recognizing the source can help you deal with them more effectively.

   Practice calling upon your “inner resource” — breathe, meditate or turn to mindfulness when you feel tense.

7. Take care of yourself. If the atmosphere isn’t safe or feels toxic, leave.

   Instead, gather with friends, do volunteer work or pamper yourself.

8. Call a friend. Debrief after the visit with someone you trust.

9. Be patient. Real change—in you and your family—takes time.

10. Be gracious. Aim for empathy, compassion, and equanimity when dealing with family situations.

With intention, the holidays can be different this year. Remember to also take good care of yourself — eat healthfully, get plenty of rest (schedule it in), exercise (get that yoga routine in), and drink lots of water. Breathe deeply. Relax and have fun. (Schedule that in, too.) 

Stay healthy. Be well. Enjoy.

Jeannine

Content is adapted and used under license, © Claire Communications